You can all disregard my last post (opps, thats not meant to be a Nov 11 reference)

Things are now sorted out and I will have a key – Yay.

Now, I just have to decide if I want to make a point about the complete failure of church process that led to this happening, or if I should just let it all slide.

I want to make the point, especially since it is an abuse of concensus decision making, no not abuse – its neglecting to use it the way it is designed. But, Im not sure its worth the effort.

Im seriously so pissed off that I can hardly think.

I have been locked out of part of the building that I run kids club in – the part with the kids toilets in it.

The result, not suprisingly, well, I’ll let you guess. And then think one step further than what you just guessed.

Its just not OK. We are trying to provide a caring and supportive Chistian environment for these kids – well, at least I am, im not sure what the church is doing. It seems more like they are trying to make it has hard as possible for kids to enjoy themselves, and learn about God. And they must not want anyone to come back.

So Im pissed off, what gets me even more is that I have now said more than once that i need a key. I shouldn’t have to argue my piont about this. I should have just been given one at the start.

Its a good thing that this is my last term, I think that I would be drafting a resignation letter if there were any longer to go. And I have to say, I wouldn’t encourage anyone at this point to take this job, ministry is hard anyway – with an unsupportive church I dont think its worth it.

I love being healthy. I love having energy, I love being able to think, I love being able to concentrate.

Its fantastic.

In the last week or so I have discovered that I really like cooking and eating great food. I have been putting effort into what I am making and taking the time to enjoy eating it.

My running is going fairly well too, Im still on the treadmill (and all the rain isnt helping me to be able to run outside) but Im running for about 35 mins and doing just under 5kms at the moment.

While all this extra stuff is taking up a fair bit of time, I actually feel like I am getting more work done, mainly because I can think clearly and concentrate. I feel like a lot of what I do happens inside my own head, thinking of NCYC fundraising and ways to encourage others to come to NCYC, thinking about themes for kidzown and what we could do to make it work. Sometimes it seems a bit silly, to be thinking through all this stuff, but its important that I know why we are doing the things that we are doing, and why we aren’t doing some of the things we dont do. Because of the type of person I am I make spreadsheets about everything, it helps me remember where we are up to and what else needs to happen.

Anyway, my newest tip – dont bother with lettuce. Instead, have baby spinach. My guess is that everything that you could want to put lettuce with would be better with baby spinach and it makes it heaps healthier. I have been reading up on nutrition and sources of vitamins and minerals, its fascinating. Most of us dont eat enough fruit and veg, especially leafy greens.

I struggle with Easter. Its a problem for me every year. This year it is worse because I am teaching scripture and doing devotions at kids club etc.

It all comes back to my problems with the statement “Jesus died for my sins” I dont like it, I dont agree with it, I cant stand it. Generally, I dont have many problems with breaking rules or doing something in an unexpected way. I have been a wimp about this though.

What I think, and yes im still learning and changing and adapting, is that Jesus died because he was human and humans die.
I think we should put way less emphasis on the death part and focus on the resurrection part. Not that I have my head fully around that, but it seems to me that focusing on the death and saying that Jesus had to die (and had to die a slow and extremely painful death) is really looking at the wrong part. Well, not the wrong part, but I just dont see that as the point of the story.

Up until now I havent really felt like I had to ‘tow the line’ but this is the first thing where I feel like I would be kicked out of the church (or at least my job) if I were to tell these kids that Jesus died because all people die. I dont think its wrong. I wouldnt want to say it if I thought it was wrong. Its just not the standard ‘church’ line.
Part of the problem is, for me, that I feel like the standard church line promotes faith out of guilt or fear rather than faith out of love.

I need to clarify here that I dont think that my church does this, but it doesnt really provide a space to talk about these things. Its mainly the scripture stuff that gets to me, this is because we are thrown into the general category of ‘protestant’.

On a side topic, and I cant remember if I have blogged this story before or not, I met an Aussie guy in NZ who wasnt Christian and didnt have or want anything to do with the church. He did say to me that sometimes he gets annoyed with God because he didnt ask for or want Jesus to die for him. Like it or not, the main part of Christian faith is that our society knows is ‘Jesus died for your sins’. Is this really the tag line we want our faith to have?

Well, I still dont have internet at my house and its driving me nuts. I think its because I went onto the budget home phone plan with telstra and it appears they have blocked me getting internet with anyone other than bigpond while I am on that plan. Its just dodgy I think – and Im a shareholder!

The job is going well,  most of the youth stuff started last week and this week. We had a commissioning service for the youth leaders and it was quite well attended. Some of the morning service people came so that was encouraging. Most of the time I feel like I am on top of the job and things are sorted, but sometimes I remember how much I have to learn still and feel like I have lost it. But its going well, I am going to stuff some things up and things are going to take me longer because I am learning as I go, but thats OK I think.

I have been writing the devotions for this term of kids club, thats age 4 to year 3. We are doing 3 weeks on prayer then the rest of the term on Easter. I dont know how people did any of this before the internet, I guess the range of thought was more limited.

The kitchen at my house is finally finished, it was meant to be done before I moved in, but its done now. They have left the place so messy!

I also have a new computer. My old one just kept stuffing up too much, the battery wouldnt charge and i couldnt play music from it, so I got a new one. Alastair sorted it all out for me and I picked it up yesterday. Its good so far, I just need to get used to the new keyboard.

Health – well Im feeling pretty good really. I have managed to get back to the gym which helps my sleeping a lot. I still need to eat more vegies, but all in all im feeling good and positive.

And last, but not least, is Lent. We are doing Lent specific studies for our Youth Group devotions this term, last week they went really well. I have been struggling to decide what I am going to give up, but I think I am going to give up take away food – specifically, take away food that is not prepared specifically for me. Eg, Red Rooster is out because that chicken could have been for anyone, but Thai or Chinese food is OK because I call and order it. I think I have to put Pizza in the not Ok column though. Hopefully this will work in with my new diet and motivate me to cook more.

I was in Melbourne last night for a hens night. My friend from High School is getting married, which is great, she is really happy.

Anyway, I didnt know any of her new friends, they were all great.  I found out how strange it is when people ask you what you do. I dont want to tell them I work for the church doing ministry type stuff, people respond too strangely when you say anything like that. It leaves me not knowing what to say. I dont want to lie, but I dont want to make them feel uncomfortable telling them what I do. People for some reason feel the need to prove they are a good person, even though they dont go to church, they get all protective as if I have never heard a swear word before or anything like that. Its just weird.

Im going to have to think of a way to describe what I do without mentioning the ministry bit until people are a bit more comfortable around me. Its not that I want to hide what I am doing, its just that I dont want people to feel uncomfortable or change how they would relate to me otherwise.

This new job is quite strange. The lack of set working hours, which I love, is hard to get used to. I think it is hard for the people around me too, they see all my time as free when its not at all. I think that I will settle into the strange hours and lack of afternoons soon enough.

I am quite enjoying what I am doing so far. School is about to start and I am optimistic about this year for our programs. I am a little concerned about scripture, we dont seem to have anyone who wants to teach! I am planning to teach some High School scripture this year, I deal with high schoolers better I think and it will be good for our Youth Groups.

Apart from changing the Kid Zone (Sunday School) model over, I see most of the childrens stuff as things for me to maintain. They dont need heaps of work from me to grow them. The high school stuff on the other hand needs extra effort to grow it. We only have 3 people in years 7 – 10, that needs some work.

Alastair has volunteered to lead a weekly bible study on a different week for whoever wants to come. I think its great. We do devotions at youth group, but we dont really have anything for the people who want to deepen and grow their faith. It has so much potential.

We are also changing the way we do youth group. We are splitting the night into thirds, first third as a big group doing a combined activity, middle third in year groups doing devotions and getting to know each other better, the last third some unstructured hang out time where they can just enjoy being in the community. I have started to do some reading on youth group theory and I think I have a lot more to read, I think this kind of structure brings a good balance between fun and learning whilst building and maintaining relationships.

I had been thinking about not doing Uni this year, but I have changed my mind. Now that it relates to my work as well I think its worth me doing. I dont feel as overloaded as I did last year so I think if I take it slowly I can keep studying.