Im so over being a sickly person.
It would be nice to be able to go 5 weeks without getting another illness. I was going fairly well, but not I have a chest infection and I hate it. Why do I always get sick?
I have been trying quite hard recently to get healthy. I have changed my diet and lifestyle quite a bit. Im just not sure what I am doing wrong.
My Mum, as crazy as she is, thinks its all about vitamin C. I have been taking some but she thinks I need heaps more. Im thinking of giving it a go. That sounds really strange to me, generally if Im agreeing with mum there is something wrong.
I can’t decide if I am glad to be home or not. I kind of am because I missed my computer and when I got sick I missed my bed, but apart from that I dont know why I didnt quit my job and just move.
I do enjoy my job most of the time though, I think when I get back into the swing of things I will be fine.
Hopefully I will be better in a few days so then I can start training for the triathlon I want to go in. Its only a short one, 200m Swim, 6km Ride, 2km Run.
I need to be healthy as soon as possible so that I can start training for this, its on the 18th October.
Filed under: health
Im a bit proud of myself at the moment, I just did 5km in 36 mins.Including a 5 min walk on each end to warm up and cool down.
Its good, I feel good about it.
Now, well, in an hour, I have to go sit in a meeting for the next few days. Im not sure all that sitting will be very good for me. 
Im going to try to make it to the gym again on Sunday, its pretty good, I can use a local gym (in Wagga Wagga) as part of my room rate at the hotel im staying at.
For those of you who havent already figured it out, im crashing at the moment.
A few days ago I thought that I could pull myself back by now, actually, I thought I would be OK by wednesday. but im not and I dont know what caused this. Usually I know what causes these kind of crashes.
All the crap weather hasnt helped, but its not just that, even on the nicer days I havent been feeling like myself.
Im not sure how to get myself back. It feels so selfish to have to spend so much time working on my mental health, but then if I dont I cant be useful to anyone. I dont know how to do it.
Having things go wrong that shouldnt doesnt help. My car is a bit broken, my internet was broken, my phone was causing problems, and I need to clean my kitchen so that I can start to eat again. (I have been eating, just not all that well)
Anyway, just thought I would let you all know. Not that I even know who ‘you’ are.
I love being healthy. I love having energy, I love being able to think, I love being able to concentrate.
Its fantastic.
In the last week or so I have discovered that I really like cooking and eating great food. I have been putting effort into what I am making and taking the time to enjoy eating it.
My running is going fairly well too, Im still on the treadmill (and all the rain isnt helping me to be able to run outside) but Im running for about 35 mins and doing just under 5kms at the moment.
While all this extra stuff is taking up a fair bit of time, I actually feel like I am getting more work done, mainly because I can think clearly and concentrate. I feel like a lot of what I do happens inside my own head, thinking of NCYC fundraising and ways to encourage others to come to NCYC, thinking about themes for kidzown and what we could do to make it work. Sometimes it seems a bit silly, to be thinking through all this stuff, but its important that I know why we are doing the things that we are doing, and why we aren’t doing some of the things we dont do. Because of the type of person I am I make spreadsheets about everything, it helps me remember where we are up to and what else needs to happen.
Anyway, my newest tip – dont bother with lettuce. Instead, have baby spinach. My guess is that everything that you could want to put lettuce with would be better with baby spinach and it makes it heaps healthier. I have been reading up on nutrition and sources of vitamins and minerals, its fascinating. Most of us dont eat enough fruit and veg, especially leafy greens.
Im a bit proud of myself today.
I had lunch with Liana. I had a sandwich on rye bread, with avocado, cucumber, tomato, beetroot, mustard and cheese with coleslaw on the side. I think its the first time I have eaten both beetroot and coleslaw.
Then, for dinner I used my wok for the first time. I had a chicken stirfry, with Onion, carrot, green beans, snowpeas, red capsicum, bok choy (not sure how its spelled), garlic, ginger and soy sauce. It was fantastic. I really enjoyed preparing and cooking it, as well as eating it.
I like putting effort into being healthy. I function better, I can think clearly and more. Its just better.
I actually enjoy eating food now. For years and years I wanted to be able to take a tablet or something and be rid of the whole eating thing, but I am actually enjoying it now.
Today I went to the organic grocery shop and got my food for the next few days, it wasnt as expensive as I had thought, mainly because they only sell things that are in season.
The people there were great, they were so helpful and had heaps of suggestions about how to eat the foods that Im not sure of yet. They were explaining stuff to me about what should be in your diet, like the more colours you have the better, its a good way to make sure you are getting a spread of nutrients.
Im actually enjoyig cooking food too. I made vege soup last week, its actually quite nice. I am attempting to wake up early enough to cook myself breakfast every day.
Im actually happy. I think the two are related. Eat well & exercise, people have been saying it for years and they are right. Happiness suits me, I like it. I notice myself smiling for no real reason all the time now. Its great. 
Oh, I have also decided to go vegetarian. Its going to be a slow process, at the moment I am semi-vegetarian already (that means I eat chicken but not other types of meat), I want to progress slowly to being lacto-ovo-vegetarian (that means I eat dairy and eggs, but no meat). Its all very exciting, I have so much to learn.
I love the shopping that comes with taking on new sports or activities.
Im trying not to buy everything so I can use things as incentives to keep going.
Today I got an arm band for my ipod. Its Nike (unfortunately, I do generally try to aviod socially irresponsible companies) but its cute and means that I will be able to take my running out of the gym. I also got some new shorts to run in.
Today I made 4km in 30 mins, including 5 mins walking to warm up and 5min to cool down.
I like the energy it gives me. I dont feel tried after running, I feel hungry, but not tired. For someone who is tired most of the time thats a really good thing.
I know I said I was done with this whole blogging thing, but it appears that I am an addict.
I have started training for the City to Surf, at the moment I am using the Couch to 5k podcasts, they are quite good. I cheated and started on week 5, its a nine week program designed to get people up to a level where they can run 5km.
If anyone is interested they can be downloaded for free from here.
To be able to do this, I have improved my diet again, I am eating even more vegies and today I cooked my first ever Vege Soup. Its not all that soup-ish, not very liquid and heapso fo solids, but it seems to taste alright. I think next time I might follow the recipe that I am using.
Im quite excited about all this, I like the idea of being fit and healthy (and skinny). I had intended to go in the City to Surf when I was in year 12 at school, not sure what happened. I think I started stressing about school and partying too much. This time is different. Im not planning to be in Australia for the few years after this so its my last chance for a while. Plus the race is just before I will be going to Greenbelt and Laura’s wedding, its good motivation.
Im only a few days in, so the excitement might wear off, but for now I think its good. Goals are important to be able to keep us on track in life.
Ok, So I am crashing and burning at the moment.
It started because I was getting a bit of a cold. Every time it becomes a struggle to know what is real and what isnt. My body and my brain fight and of course I end up being the loser.
The problem with getting physically sick is that I cant tell if I really am physically sick or if my brain is just tricking me. Then, from that point on, I have to keep assessing which is it, an actual illness or a mental illness. (not meaning that mental isnt actual, just not physical). Last year I got it so wrong that I thought my pneumonia was in my head. I knew I had a cough, I knew it didnt sound good. But I can convince myself I am sick all the time, at any time. I had no idea I actually was sick.
This time I am trying to be careful because I dont want to get pneumonia again. But I dont know how sick I am. I dont even know if I am sick.
When it is all in my head I can generally tell myself to get over it and pick myself back up off the floor. Pull it together, get some exercise, breathe properly, get through it. But that doesnt work with a physical illness, I cant convince myself to just be over a cold. It doesnt work like that. I went to the gym on monday, thinking I could just pull myself together and fix it all. I nearly passed out in the class. The instructor was quite worried about me – but still, I dont know what caused the dizziness, I had been exercising for about 45mins at the time and I was pale. My cheeks were red from the exercise, but I was pale. I just dont know.
Part of what adds to my depression is housework. I cant stand it, I hate cleaning and as a result my house is a complete disaster. I have been buying food that I can eat from the container. I dont even remember the last time I washed up. Washing my clothes Im not too bad at, the rest of it. I cant stand it. Im thinking that I need to hire someone. Yep, it will be expensive, but it has to be good for my mental health – and probably good for my diet because I will be able to use my kitchen.
I know that this is a lot of winging and whining. I dont like crashing, I dont like all the crap things that float through my head when I’m not doing well, I dont like being this person. But its all part of who I am. Sometimes Im good, sometimes I can handle my own life. Sometimes I just cant.
Well, I still dont have internet at my house and its driving me nuts. I think its because I went onto the budget home phone plan with telstra and it appears they have blocked me getting internet with anyone other than bigpond while I am on that plan. Its just dodgy I think – and Im a shareholder!
The job is going well, most of the youth stuff started last week and this week. We had a commissioning service for the youth leaders and it was quite well attended. Some of the morning service people came so that was encouraging. Most of the time I feel like I am on top of the job and things are sorted, but sometimes I remember how much I have to learn still and feel like I have lost it. But its going well, I am going to stuff some things up and things are going to take me longer because I am learning as I go, but thats OK I think.
I have been writing the devotions for this term of kids club, thats age 4 to year 3. We are doing 3 weeks on prayer then the rest of the term on Easter. I dont know how people did any of this before the internet, I guess the range of thought was more limited.
The kitchen at my house is finally finished, it was meant to be done before I moved in, but its done now. They have left the place so messy!
I also have a new computer. My old one just kept stuffing up too much, the battery wouldnt charge and i couldnt play music from it, so I got a new one. Alastair sorted it all out for me and I picked it up yesterday. Its good so far, I just need to get used to the new keyboard.
Health – well Im feeling pretty good really. I have managed to get back to the gym which helps my sleeping a lot. I still need to eat more vegies, but all in all im feeling good and positive.
And last, but not least, is Lent. We are doing Lent specific studies for our Youth Group devotions this term, last week they went really well. I have been struggling to decide what I am going to give up, but I think I am going to give up take away food – specifically, take away food that is not prepared specifically for me. Eg, Red Rooster is out because that chicken could have been for anyone, but Thai or Chinese food is OK because I call and order it. I think I have to put Pizza in the not Ok column though. Hopefully this will work in with my new diet and motivate me to cook more.
