So, for those of you who don’t already know, I have fallen off the mental health bandwagon over the last month or so.
I didn’t actually realise that it was as bad as it is, but now I do. That’s always the hardest bit, noticing the problem in the first place.
So now I’m in Thailand, unable to walk properly – thanks to a hungry crab or some kind of sea creature that thought my foot was food – and generally feeling tired and crap and overspent on this months budget.
On the budget topic, I generally allow $1000 per month, occasionally for special events, like bungee jumping or health retreats increasing the budget. This month I have spent over $1500 with two weeks still to go. It’s not a huge problem, but my own irresponsibility bugs me.
Now I need an action plan. I need to get my brain functioning again and I’d like to do it without going back on my medication – although I do know I can if things get to that point.
The main points are diet and exercise, they have always been the key to being healthy.
Commitments to myself:
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Do the Tai-Chi form 3 times per day
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Drink at least 2L of water per day
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Have at least one piece of fruit per day
This is the aim for the next week, and I will add more to it after that.
I’m now DRUG FREE!!! Its been 5 days and I haven’t taken any anti-depressants.
I have been sleeping well and eating (sometimes) well.
Its great, I’m excited about the idea of being a healthy person.
Please don’t read this and think that I am saying medication is bad, far from it, I think its great and I am glad that I had it to help me through the years of my illness, but I don’t believe I need them long term so I am happy to be off them.
I was on medication since late 2004, its now August 2009 and I am looking forward to my life. My mentally stable, medication free life 
I was in counselling for years, one of the recurring themes was that I needed to eat well and exercise. That advice bugged the shit out of me at the time, as if its that easy. But now, now that I am well, I’m going to try to eat well and exercise to avoid my life falling that far off the rails again.
Of course, I know that life isn’t going to always be easy & that I won’t always be happy. Everything always changes, I think I am better able to adapt now.
Ok, I have cleaned my bedroom, the bathroom, & the kitchen (including clearing out the fridge). Now I have the lounge room and my ‘office’ to go.
I have to say, I like it so far. Things are neat, my clothes are clean. It does look better.
I think its motivating too. I have got so much more done in the past few days. I think I am sleeping better which means when I wake up (earlier than usual) I just start doing things that need to be done instead of wasting time until things HAVE to be done that instant.
Apart from wimping out and not writing my letter to the property committee about being locked out of part of the building for kids club, I am actually organised for kids club more than an hour before it starts. That is close to a first.
I think I might be able to get used to being organised and tidy. Oh, and for good measure I have started to take hayfever tablets to stop me getting more sick.
After developing yet another swollen red throat and blocked sinuses, my support group last night told me that I’m not doing everything I can to be healthy because my house is such a mess.
Its sounds strange, but I hadn’t really thought that a messy house could cause health issues, but apparently breathing in too much dust could be causing my constant sickness.
So today, after teaching scripture, sleeping a lot (to recover from not sleeping last night) & checking the result updates from the US election, I started to clean my house. I started in my bedroom, it is where I spend most of my time when I am at home. There is now nothing on the floor at all, I will wash all of my clothes over the next few days and put them into the wardrobe and develop a system to keep them off the floor.
Tomorrow I’m going to attack the kitchen and the bathroom, both of which have not been cleaned in a while.
I don’t like cleaning, but I really hate being sick. Its worth a try at least – maybe I will even like it
Filed under: health
I have signed myself up for the Mind Body Blitz at the yoga studio that I go to.
It means that I am comitting to doing yoga 6 days a week for the next 6 weeks.
4 of these will be at the yoga studio, doing classes and 2 at home.
I think it will be good for me, im excited about it.
Im so sick of being sick, yoga seems like a good way to look after my bodyto avoid getting sick as much.
Filed under: health
I have now officially been sick for over a week. I still feel like crap.
Actually, I think I feel as bad as when I had pneumonia. Im taking short shallow breathes, I cough all the time, Im finding it hard to eat etc.
I actually coughed so much the other day that I threw up. I dont remember that ever happening before.
Because I do feel so crap I am actually taking this seriously and Im not trying to do much. I haven’t been out of my bed for more than an hour and a half at a time. Im not even watching many DVD’s, I dont have the energy. I have just been having morning and afternoon naps and then sleeping all night.
What a facinating life I have. Tomorrow was meant to be my race 
I have bought 2 thermometers in the past few days, both were broken before they could even tell me my temperature.
I know its wrong to see conspiracies where there arent any, but if I were a more paranoid person that would be too much.
I just want to know if I still have a fever. I want to be able to check it when I wake up at 4am dripping in sweat.
That doesnt seem like much to ask really.
I have this image of who I want to be. I thought I was almost there. Young, Free, Healthy, able to go anywhere and do anything, choosing to do things that are meaningful,
But then, there is reality. Here we are, I’m back on Antibiotics, I have yet another chest infection, on Friday I had a temperature of 39.6 C.
It makes me quite sad. At this point I cant even look after myself let alone help the world be a better place. So then it makes me wonder what is the point?
I cant figure out why I keep getting sick. In terms of lifestyle, I should be fine. I’m not very stressed, I eat fairly well most of the time, I exercise (when I am not sick), I don’t drink much alcohol, I don’t smoke, I don’t take any drugs that aren’t prescribed for me. So I just don’t get it.
Yes, I’m winging about it. Wouldn’t you be? Every 6 to 8 weeks I am sick again. It makes me even more unreliable than just the depression, and that level of unreliability was too much for me to cope with.I feel bad for everyone who has to rely on me, my church especially because they pay me and i’m always sick.
I really wanted to go in that triathlon next weekend – now I can’t even get myself lunch.
This is not how I pictured my life.
Im so over being a sickly person.
It would be nice to be able to go 5 weeks without getting another illness. I was going fairly well, but not I have a chest infection and I hate it. Why do I always get sick?
I have been trying quite hard recently to get healthy. I have changed my diet and lifestyle quite a bit. Im just not sure what I am doing wrong.
My Mum, as crazy as she is, thinks its all about vitamin C. I have been taking some but she thinks I need heaps more. Im thinking of giving it a go. That sounds really strange to me, generally if Im agreeing with mum there is something wrong.
I can’t decide if I am glad to be home or not. I kind of am because I missed my computer and when I got sick I missed my bed, but apart from that I dont know why I didnt quit my job and just move.
I do enjoy my job most of the time though, I think when I get back into the swing of things I will be fine.
Hopefully I will be better in a few days so then I can start training for the triathlon I want to go in. Its only a short one, 200m Swim, 6km Ride, 2km Run.
I need to be healthy as soon as possible so that I can start training for this, its on the 18th October.
Filed under: health
Im a bit proud of myself at the moment, I just did 5km in 36 mins.Including a 5 min walk on each end to warm up and cool down.
Its good, I feel good about it.
Now, well, in an hour, I have to go sit in a meeting for the next few days. Im not sure all that sitting will be very good for me.
Im going to try to make it to the gym again on Sunday, its pretty good, I can use a local gym (in Wagga Wagga) as part of my room rate at the hotel im staying at.
