Just Thinking…

Dealing with people is a stressfull thing to do.

My whole job is dealing with people and it stresses me out.

I cant keep up with all the things that I need to, I cant manage all these people who I dont understand. At this point, it doesnt even feel like we have a common goal.

As I am feeling a bit stressed, my typical response is to cut myself off a bit and think too much.

This time around I am thinking about my UK trip, which is good because its in 6 weeks and I havent booked anything, and what I am going to do next year.

I have ditched the idea of moving to the UK, the weather here has been making me miserable so why would I move somewhere worse. I think I am going to spend some time in Thailand, maybe volunteering at Agape or something and then go to Canada. I do love good snow.

I just have to not meltdown for the next 6 months and everything will be ok. Not that I am the type of person that would let myself get away with ‘not melting down’ as my only goal. I have to not melt down and do all the things that I have set for myself this year.

Leaving the actual job that I am paid to do aside, I also have to get everyone to NCYC – yes, this is part of the job, but not in the job description – its an added bonus. I have to get UnitingCare using Fair Trade and present something to Synod about Fair Trade. I need to get skinnier and fitter and healthier. I need to cut down my medication. I need to get back some hint of a social life and fun in my life.

Obviously, something has to give. I cant do all of this. I also dont know which ones to cut.

None of this can happen while I am cutting myself off from the world.

Note: please dont stress about me if you are reading this. I will sort it out. Writing stuff down helps me think it through. I dont want to contribute to someone elses stress.